Archive for April, 2006

What a bunch of …. turkey.

What the hell happened to the Star Tribune‘s website?

Current Trends

What I’m into right now:

  • Liza Minnelli: There, I said it. Now go watch Liza with a Z and discover what you’ve been missing.
  • Kathy Griffin: Laura and Kathy personally converted me. My problem with her has always been that anyone can make fun of celebrities. We all do it. I suppose there is the “oh no she din’nit!” aspect to much of her comedy, but there was more substance than that. I think I laughed even more than Laura at the show last night. She made you feel like we all knew each other, and her…like she’d say, “You guys have heard about O’Reilly and the pussy, right?” or “Wasn’t that weird about Brooke having her baby the same day as Tom’s?” Very conversational. Loved it.
  • Realizing Google Calendar sucks: It happened about two weeks too late. Imported reminders don’t work, sometimes you can’t edit times, you can’t drag an event upwards to make it start earlier…it’s kinda bad.
  • Kellie Pickler gone from AI: The North wins again.

Would you let this man touch you?

Phony doctor gives free breast exams – Yahoo! News

One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

Oh yes, the dead give away – it wasn’t sanitary! Just ignore that he showed no credentials, came to your door, and looks like Rod Roddy cracked out on eating the sequins from his jacket.

Definition of irony

Do you think some Apple graphics person added A Hard Day’s Night to the introduction to iPod presentation just to be a smart ass?

You go, Ray


THE KINKS frontman RAY DAVIES is desperate to see SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY move away from middle-of-the-road music and produce something extreme. The WATERLOO SUNSET rocker is convinced the former BEATLE is hiding behind a smokescreen and should either strip down his sound, or take it to the other end of the spectrum and collaborate with SIR ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER. Davies says, “I’d like to hear him stripped down musically, then maybe more of him could come through. “I still think there’s a camouflage there and I don’t know whether that’s intuitive or planned. I’d like to hear him sound like what he is, one of our great folk heroes. Let’s try to restore that. “Or he should work with Andrew Lloyd Webber: I really think that is the marriage I am waiting for. Get more real or go that far.” © contACTMUSIC.COM

That is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard said about Paul McCartney (musically anyway). Paul has always been at his best when the music is simple and the lyrics are cryptic (think “McCartney”, “Chaos”, or “Ram”). He falters when he overproduces and tries to write a story (with a few exceptions, such as “Eleanor Rigby”). But he also has the power to do something cheesy yet musically good, like a musical. Of course they’d still need to bring in Tim Rice because Paul could never write good enough lyrics on his own.

There have been rumors of Paul and Brian Wilson working on an album. I think that’d be brilliant, even lyrically. It better happen–it coudl be another “SMiLE.”

This must be a late April Fool’s Joke

BBC NEWS | Americas | Planning the US ‘Long War’ on terror

The “Long War” is the name Washington is using to rebrand the new world conflict, this time against terrorism.

Come on. This is how they admit that they have no exit strategy? This is about Iraq, not WWIII. It will only turn into WWIII or a long war if the United States lets it.

Fuck you all.

I’m confused

Ok, I’m sorry if I will come off as a completely ignorant bastard with this post. If I do, please just let me know and I’ll accept it.

I have a confession – I don’t understand this whole immigration debate. To me, the logical stance is to only allow legal immigrants to live and work here. If that means that we give 11 million currently illegal (or I guess the PC term is undocumented) aliens citizenship, then so be it. But I doubt all of them will be eligible.

So why are all these “immigration rights” folks protesting all over the place these days? What are they protesting against? I keep hearing things like, “they are coming out of the shadows…” So now that we’re actually discussing that there are people illegally living in the country, they come out and think it’s okay?

How is it okay? It’s illegal. Period. Either get a green card, become a citizen, or leave. If I went to live in Great Britain (a huge dream of mine) and I lacked any documentation–I’d be risking it big time. If they caught me, I’d expect to be sent away or imprisoned. Why should the United States be any different?

I do appreciate the work illegal immigrants do here. They do the jobs Americans think they are too good for. But the key is that they are illegal. We have borders for a reason, and we have laws for a reason. We can’t just ignore one law just because it’s nice for our businesses.

If anyone can clarify this, please do so in the comments section. Thanks.

Not to drag this out, but…

Meredith Vieira to Replace Katie Couric – Yahoo! News:

“‘I really love her,’ said Lindgren, a 27-year-old mother of two from Denmark, Maine. ‘I watch ABC now, but I’d rather watch Katie than the person doing the evening news (at ABC) now. She’s outgoing, she’s energetic and she seems to relate to the people nicely.’

Lindgren is among the 29 percent of people responding to an Associated Press-TV Guide poll this week who said they preferred Couric in the evening. Forty-nine percent of the people said they favored Couric in the morning.”

Ok, this is odd for a couple reasons. One is how can people say they prefer a newscaster in the evenign when they haven’t seen her in the evening? Two, I happen to prefer Couric in the afternoon, with a fine Pino Noir and aged cheddar.

Proof of Wal-Mart’s Evil Ways

On my way to my mom’s this past weekend, I had to stop somewhere for cold medicine. Wal-Mart happened to be the cheapest and most convenient place to stop along the freeway.

This is from my online bank statement – I used my debit card for the transaction:

Mmmhmm, thought so. 1 DEVIL.

They always forget the Asians

Source Says Katie Couric Eying CBS News – Yahoo! News

I’m confused:
Couric, 49, would be the first woman to be named as a sole host of a network evening newscast — even though Elizabeth Vargas frequently has done that job alone at ABC’s “World News Tonight.”

What about Connie Chung? Did I completely make up memories of her anchoring the CBS evening news, or was it that she co-anchored with Dan Rather? Ok, IMDB lists her as “Herself – Substitute Anchor (1989-1995)/Co-anchor (1993-1995)”. She must have done it by herself at some point though.

Even my mom has grown tired of Katie. Good luck, CBS.

UPDATE: Welcome, Washington Post Express Readers! On April 5th, this blog was quoted in said paper. My friend Ben just happened to notice it as he read the paper along his way to work this morning. Here’s a snippet of the famous (amongst my friends anyway) page:

As Laura said, now I’m e-famous! Thanks to the Post Express.